My intention has been to share about my creative and growth process and work online, as well as astrological energy readings around the moon troughs and crests. For reasons I’ve found it challenging to get on that ball (particle), or wave maybe, I’m finding my thoughts chaotic and off-time (or maybe I’m just on the wrong calender.
and maybe I need more practice or just less expectation.
^a bit repetitive maybe I thought to add it in to this cauldron of thoughts and intuitions here.
Sometimes I have trouble opening the doors to my inner world on the Internet. I don’t always know if I even want to. Maybe, somehow.
I connect with my heart and cosmic intelligence in writing this, putting it together. I ask myself what dominant tone draws me most deep. To just be.
To connect with the vertical, with the lover’s temple bed, with the kind (of) food and biological integration.
Mind raging dark ideas and anxiety stews, I put a snake in it. I feel I am overwriting, judging my work too much and then overdoing it instead of letting the w o r d s
Trust, I tell myself. Leap! I was hearing, for the whole last moon cycle. It was a time to make a leap, a grand one, not physically (or maybe…) but energetically. To a new point of reference. Do you feel you did? Did you feel that call?
I was hearing the song ‘Leap of Faith’ from the Broadway show, Rent around the time of the last full moon. These moons.
Equinox rolled in and performed a universal balancing act. Do you ever notice your breath deepen at springtime? Spring’s been a bit late to the party up here on this island, known as tio’tia:ke to the Mohawk or Iroquois. The place where currents meet (source: )
I did a bit of research on what exactly equinoxes are, and learned a few interesting facts. But everytime I go to get the quote, I get lost in a maze of doors past doors of having forgotten why I even wandered into that room. (I need a computer, am so over typing on my cell phone) K, going.
“Doing some light reading on just what exactly an equinox is and have so far learned twilight zones exist, they are terminal thick lines sliding in rotation around the globe that is this planet, dividing day and night. an equinox occurs when this line is exactly perpendicular with the equator of the planet, meaning that anywhere not too close to the poles will experience an equal amount of sunlight and darkness. it’s easier to understand through images. normally the line is tilted (due to the planetary tilt, Earth be a bit slanted on her axis) if you imagine a diagonal line penetrating the equator, leaving way more light overall on either the northern or southern hemisphere, as the planet rotates through time.”
Quoted in italics because of the tone change to more research-ey information-like. Something else I learned is that ‘the spring’ is not a scientific season but rather a cultural one. Scientifically, it isn’t thought to arrive at the equinox, but rather when it does. (And then I mention I got this from Wikipedia).
On a more energetic level, regardless of what is Spring and what is myth (I think the equinox period is a useful ritual-rich marker) the Spring Equinox (and I speak for the North, I am sorry my people of the lands down under), or the verbal equinox (vernal! autocorrect♡), or Ostara, its pagan name on the Eight Pronged Wheel of Time, is naturally a symbolic and spiritually supportive moment to celebrate rebirth, and the beginning of blooming dreams. A time to be in wonder, to awaken and recommit to living in harmony with the consciousness of green.
A side, I tend to ask myself when my ‘new year’ is, if it was seasonally appropriate, biologically resonant. Imbolc, the pagan day marking midwinter. Sometimes I’ll think it is Samhain, midautumn (but I’ll love this time of year always, veil so thin, apples so sweet). I don’t know exactly, I think the question calls for more self-knowledge, and less tangents in this long and fairy charmed blog post. (Way more fairy charmed since just describing it that way).
This equinox brought with it a breath of balance, and it seemed to be calling for intimacy (I write this literally from the bath, but the last flame has burnt out and it is night and I am sharing too many details maybe but am also motivating myself to keep writing this once I change rooms (doorframes are portals, we can paint them))
…Have since changed rooms, buildings. You’d rather not know where I (was).
Intimacy. I observe myself avoiding it (is that possible really?), if I could change channels (something dark crept into my mind recently), and be open.
Remembering the intention I have set last year, to simply be open hearted. And then, to se(a).
It has not always been. Some really difficult dynamics to tolerate (actually I need to relocate) and speak my truth towards.
Equinox a beautiful moment to plant our seeds of love. And finally, a new moon spun through Aries, vibing a fierce sort of motion towards sacred sexuality (my tone is not my own I know), a sun drenched and juicy crystal dew water logged crushed flowerpetal outrageously holy creativity. Aliveness.
http://www.ed.de.www (random website name inspiration?). New moon of the christed mind embedding love waves into soil. I am wanting more scientific observation, wishing my language moved a bit faster, my exact thoughts to find resonance in words. Brings me away from any point I was making and into my belly.
At around the precise moment of the moon’s dark point, a woman asked me the time. I was walking up the main street, Mont Royal Ave, towards the mountain. I had been tracking. New moon, March 27th/28th 10:57 PM EST, 3:57 UTC. I was able to say it. 10:57, I think? She giggled and walked away. Merci! The definitive time stamps have me wondering if there is some supposedly authoritive world clock out there ticking… maybe it is a tree. And speaking of time stamps, I’ve begun drawing them. ‘Be so cautious with these’, I felt and thought. Alien light language neatly wound into a rounded rectangle. When do I use them? I wondered. Every new moon, is the answer that became apparent.
Anyway, I actually intended to share reflection on my creative writing process, which is mostly absent here, my heart has static, and there is astrology too to share of which I mostly managed to get out, though late. Thank you for reading and vibe ray ting here for a minute. I feel your future selves, you know who y’are ♡
How to best love you, universe? Through love songs to the God that is within and wherever. By dancing me, Erica. Sing my blues deep. Sing every shade.
I guess, so long as I am at least beautiful in my mess I can deal for the patient time it takes to organize. Organ eyes. (I feel i have more to say but I remember this poem I wrote once)
I finally remembered where I left my heart, in that other room a hundred doors back- (where did I leave this poem though, open heart chords essentially).
I didn’t sleep yet I have this parallel memory of having dreamt throughout the night…
Anyway, the moon waxes (pink moon of sharing and stars)(and I already missed sharing on that too) and this is catching up from the new moon last month (a stability that supports me in my work I summon you) I will hurry up and PUBLISH (didn’t then am now).
Moontime found me early this month and i let some of the blood seep into the mountain here. But I keep feeling driven to the sea.
wishing you an emotiv-ating lush and powerful spring and/or autumn
with deep breaths of balance, joy, and a luscious ooze of balmy blooms of every flower the ones known and unknown the ones young and ancient and the mythic ones of sweet redeeming nectar no longer in our language the ones long gone but never truly forgotten the one who seek a spring of an age after an eon of winter happy vernal equinox (a sprinkle of a wish sent back through time, I can hear a teenage friend whispering to me, ‘Erica, you can’t just fix everything with time travel all of the time’ ‘yes she could’ my future self appears, whispering back) and the happiest of springs so far
may your life surprise you with its magic, may you walk as beauty may you discover a blooming new source of love may everything melt may sovereignty reign may we rise in peace
(I can’t seem to finish this post but it is so late. maybe it is just a failed experiment. or just not true enough… last year I began connecting with a high wave of motion in this world I kept feeling was ‘too good’ but I am adjusting… )
“Ten thousand words can most always be summed up with a frequency leap, and one word.” – a rogue sine wave